Charles Budde, ESQ.

I’m no stranger to family upheaval.

My dad was in the Air Force while I was growing up. No child gets to choose where they live, but in the Military, not even your parents get to choose where you live. We moved when Uncle Sam said it was time to move.

I was born in Kansas, and we moved to Ohio when I was 2. When I was six, we moved to Virginia. When I was 10, we moved to Germany.

Each time we had to move, I did not want to move. I had to leave my whole world behind. My friends, my school, my house, and when I was 10, my country.

With each move, there was so much uncertainty and zero control. Helplessness, anxiety, anger, depression.

Before the move, the unknown fills you with anxiety and keeps you awake at night. What will this new place be like? Will I have friends there or will the kids hate me? Where will we live? What will we eat? Will anybody understand me? There is the anger of being forced to do something you don’t want to do.

After the move, there is the depression of missing your old friends, your old school, your old home. Missing eating Mac & Cheese and pizza. Missing your cartoons. Anger at being forced into this new world with all its different people and customs. Before the move, the unknown fills you with anxiety… What will this new place be like … Where will we live?

But I survived. Every time I moved, I started school, made new friends, joined a new soccer team, found new favorite places to eat. Every time, I grew to love my new home so much that I was upset when we had to move again.

I started 10^th grade back in Ohio. This time, I was old enough to see something different. I realized that every time we moved, I had a chance for a fresh start. I was able to present the best version of myself to all the new people I met. A new beginning; an opportunity to be the best version of myself that I could be.

Growing up military forced me to be resilient. It was an important lesson that helped me get through my next family challenge.

When I was 25, my little brother died from a drug and alcohol overdose. He was 23. I had a hard time dealing with it. I alternated between angry and depressed that whole summer. In the end, my brother’s death was too much for my family. My parents divorced two years later.

My family will never be the same, but it is not broken. I still have a relationship with both of my parents and they each have a relationship with my children. Growing up military taught me that even when there is uncertainty and upheaval, there is always more life to live when you get to the other side.

I get the most satisfaction from being an Attorney when I am able to give my clients the resources to guide them through the uncertainty and the lack of control so they can start the new life that is waiting for them at the end of their divorce case.